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  • I like guy
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  • Taurus
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Paolina is an award-winning author, and a communications expert with journalistic roots. Read full profile. Interacting with others is unavoidable. You do your best to be considerate and accommodating, but, sometimes, things are said and done that make you feel dismissed, devalued, and discouraged. Which end of the assertive spectrum aligns more with who you are at your core?


Every day we make dozens of little choices that either benefit us by asserting our ideas or diminish us because we hesitate in making our views or desires known. Sometimes it seems easier to go with the flow to avoid potential conflict. But the truth is that letting people walk all over you can increase feelings of stress and anxiety, and it might eventually lessen your feelings of self-worth and play to your insecurities.

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Learning to stand up for yourself will help you take charge of your life, believe in your own power and embolden you to reach for your dreams. The stronger you feel, the stronger you will become. It might be difficult at times, but if you learn to express yourself openly and honestly, it will feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. So often, we hide behind a halfhearted smile and nod instead of saying what we think.

It takes practice, but learning to be authentic and open about what you are feeling or thinking is the first step. Once you get in the habit of making yourself heard without being overly accommodating or defensive, people will be more open to hearing you. If you are struggling with being assertive, start taking small steps to stand up for yourself. Even just learning to walk more confidently—head held high, shoulders back—will help you appear and feel more confident.

Channel that confidence when dealing with others.

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This attitude can apply to all areas of your life. Feeling annoyed at the person who cut in front of you at Starbucks? Politely ask them to move to the back. See an unfair charge on a bill from one of your service providers? Call and dispute it. There will always be people whose personalities are set to attack mode.

Walk the high road but stand your ground. Going with the flow for the purposes of not making waves actually creates more stress and anxiety for yourself. Of course, mustering the courage to face something or someone that is bothering you can feel scary. But facing the issue will empower you to make it better and diminishes the control it has over you.

From your viewpoint, you are justifiably defending yourself against someone who seems to be entirely in the wrong. Instead, take a breath and calmly explain your perspective to them. Avoid combative tones or accusatory words. Clarify exactly what you mean and listen to their response.

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Only then can a real discussion begin to take place. Research shows that it takes 66 days to form a new habitso stick with the new assertiveness for two months and you might be surprised by the .

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You might have remained silent while growing more aggravated at the situation. It might be tempting to slip into passive-aggressive behavior, such as angrily cleaning up the mess or making snide comments.

Try being deliberate instead. Tell the person how you are feeling without being accusatory. Be straightforward with your concerns. Time is a precious and limited commodity, and yet we often feel pressured to give it away when we have the ability to say no.

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There are times when you might not have a choice, such as when your boss says a project has high priority. You are in control of your own time. You are in complete ownership of your feelings and actions.

10 powerful ways to stand up for yourself in any situation

Your beliefs, emotions, thoughts and ideas belong to you, and no one else can tell you what you feel or invalidate your opinions. It takes time to grow comfortable with being assertive. While you are in the learning stage, it might help to imagine that you are an actor learning to play a new role.

Imagine that you are the most assertive person you know. How would they handle themselves in a difficult situation?

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There might be times when you swing from being overly zealous to being too indecisive. Learning to stand up for yourself is like riding a bike: Eventually, you will find the right balance. This article was published in April and has been updated for accuracy and freshness. Deep Patel is a serial entrepreneur, marketer and investor. He is the founder of the wellness brand Penguin CBD. Patel also worked with companies like Cellucor maker of C4 and A. This is excellent- so helpful!!! I am friends with a wonderful person who grew up with an angry father and codependent mother.

He has a beautiful heart but is not in touch with his feelings even though he understands others and can help them. I need to be assertive and at the same time validate his feelings. This is just what I needed- thank you! That this was right on time for me. I have a friend who is a politician and everything I say becomes a debate.

And I agree with you that I cry every night about it. Oh Ryan, I am so sorry.

11 little ways to stand up for yourself daily, according to experts

I wish you well abd big warm hugs to you! Why am I always so shy,quiet, nervous,antisocial? There is a difference between being anti-social and being unsociable and I think you mean unsociable as I am : unsociable means to not really enjoy socialising whereas anti-social behaviour would be crime for example something that damages the lives of other people. Ignore them else wise. Their awareness will. When you realize most people are faking and your just faking to keep up I feel it would fall into just going with the flow to make things easier.

As a team instead of isolated individuals. Learn to stand up for yourself in any situation with these 10 simple yet powerful steps. Practice being transparent and authentic. Take small but powerful steps. When someone attacks, wait them out. Clarify first, without attacking. Practice makes perfect. Be deliberate. Stand up for your time. Recognize that no one can invalidate you. Fake it till you make it. Deep Patel. Neha on May 20, at pm.

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This is really great. So expressive and to the point.

How to stand up for yourself (and why you find it so difficult)

Queen Bethel on November 22, at pm. Ryan on June 4, at pm.

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Auntie Kate on July 1, at am. SadPerson on September 21, at pm. Adrian on November 22, at am. AMK on September 23, at pm. Milnebay Artisan on November 27, at pm. Thank you very much. This is very helpful to me.

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On any given day, you may find yourself in a situation or two where it's necessary to know how to stand up for yourself.


Due to the Coronavirus pandemic, we can now offer all our consultations and therapy sessions online.


By Catherine Saint Louis.


Perhaps as a result of a deep-seated belief of being a pushover, you've come to associate friction as conflict and conflict as The Worst Thing You Can Ever Come Up Against.