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Posted April 17, Reviewed by Lybi Ma. At these times, even if you have lists of issues you know are causing problems with your partner, it can still somehow be hard to pinpoint why you lost the loving feelings that once overcame you. You may still want it to work with him or her. Here, I want to talk about proactive actions you can take to reconnect with what you felt when you fell in love, actions that break a fantasy bond and prove that real love is still alive and accessible.


It happens to the best of couples.

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But over time, especially when life gets tough, that sexy spark can fizzle. The s that a couple is in a sexual rut can vary, according to Amy Levine, a New York City-based sex coach and the founder of Ignite Your Pleasurebut some common ones include:. Sometimes partners get to the point where they just don't see each other sexually, said Dr. She hears from couples who aren't touching intimately anymore —not holding hands or kissing for longer than just a peck.

Like any other aspect of a healthy relationship, good sex takes time and energy.

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You have to make an effort. Start by focusing on your connection with one another, both experts say. Being able to communicate is essential both in and outside of the bedroom.

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Be open about your feelings, whether you're talking about your day at the office or your intimate desires. One thing that caused butterflies when you first met was the chemical cocktail in your bodies, says Levine. At the beginning of a relationship, couples often enjoy deep kissing, but over time they tend to stop.

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Look through a sex book together and be inspired by its suggestions. Just list them.

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Share your answers with one another. See if you can come up with something new to try together.

8 ways to regain love in a relationship

Try this experiment to see. Read an erotic novel or watch a sexy movie to get yoursef in the mood.

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Think about times you were most sexually excited. Though many people know intellectually they need to make changes with their partner, they often need to talk with an expert to figure out how to do it, said Levine. Keep in mind, says Levine, professional sex coaches like herself are merely there to talk, like any therapist.

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The good news is you can change the sexual script in your relationship. But like any other aspect of your life together, you and your partner will have to work at it.

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9 ways to rekindle a relationship

By Gina Vivinetto. Daily sex for a year? Hoda and Jenna share top 'ridiculous relationship goals' from romcoms July 27,

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So, you do you go about that?


If your relationship is more of a crisis than a comfort, you may want to check out these top tips from psychologist and relationship expert Rachel MacLynn.