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Marital separation should be used mainly as a way to heal a hurting marriage. Instead, separation can be an opportunity for struggling couples to get wise care and input from experts. How do you know whether your motives are legitimate?
Generally speaking, a trial separation or a marriage separation of husbands and wives in marriage is a symbolic event — one which usually ifies finalization, a step in the process of divorce. But what if we turned this idea on its head?
Things to consider before you separate
Can separation help a marriage? Taking time apart to strengthen relationship during the period of couple separation can be instrumental in saving a relationship. Here are some things to dwell on if you are considering a trial separation. Read on to know the answer to the question, can separation save a marriage?
In marriage counselingthe theory that space and time apart can actually strengthen a marriage may seem counter-intuitive.
Trial separations — do they work?
Most people especially women are programmed to clutch on tighter, work harder and give more when they feel their partners are slipping away. It stands to reason; after all, marriage does take work but trying too hard can create new problems and exacerbate existing ones. Many things can change as a result of separation and there are really no predictors as to what will change, or how.
For some, space enables communication to let up, which can be a blessing in some marriages. In others, communication failures will be made worse by distance.
Under the right circumstances, however, the distance can be a powerful tool that brings out the most effective communication in couples. It is unclear though why this is so, perhaps due to structured time periods, or due to the fading of resentment, or through a new sense of self-reliance by which partners begin to appreciate their spouses again.
Using space as an enhancement strategy affects all relationships differently, and what works for one couple may not work for another — even if they face similar issues. But on the whole, reclaiming identities, missing one another and dissolving that negative energy through space are just a few of the benefits couples enjoy during their hiatus or marital separation.
Can a trial separation make a relationship stronger?
There are certain guidelines and circumstances which must apply; rules that both partners must create and then observe in order to achieve the desired. Terminating marriage can come as too radical for couples who are still on the threshold of deciding to quit or make it work. Since divorce is a life-altering decision, giving trial separation a shot could be a better alternative. A trial separation can help you decide whether to stay or head for a marriage termination. Enhancement separation is not recommended for couples in certain situations, although opinions around this will vary between psychologists.
Some say that couples should not embark on separation if infidelity is an issue of the relationshiphowever, there are reported cases in which couples that created a separation of space after infidelity were actually able to rekindle ties, re-establish trust and stay married. Likewise, individuals with ificant co-dependency or trust issuesor those who do not deal well with change, are depressed or otherwise unstable are typically not good candidates for this method.
The biggest advantage of a trial separation is that the time out can help couples review their marriage, see how things are panning out, and how the partners feel for each other despite the challenges. It also gives them time to dwell on areas that need to be worked on, etc.
This is crucial as in the midst of daily life, the couple are unable to think clearly and see things for what they are. Is separation good for a marriage? Not always. On how to save marriage during separation, following the trial separation, the idea is for the couple to reconvene and discuss their thoughts and feelings regarding their commitment to one another.
If both are still committed to the process, the next task is to stay together again, returning to a marriage that is stronger and more fulfilling than ever.
Is separation good for marriage?
Reaching out to an expert can help you find the right tools in place on how to save a failing marriage and restore happiness in your relationship. With their adequate training and credentials they are the best and the most unbiased intervention to save your crumbling marriage. Take Course. Marriage Advice. Marriage Quizzes Marriage Quotes Videos.
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Do trial separations work?
Share this article on Share on Facebook. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? Kelli Hastings is a writer, social worker, and proud advocate for women. She earned her B. She is inspired to support couples, teach them skills that lead to healthy, happy and romantic partnerships.
Her interests include cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, visualization practice, and related therapies. By Sylvia Smith. Recent Articles. By Kerry Smith.
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