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There are many situations we face in our lives which make us question the ingenuity of the universe. Some of them are harsh, some funny and some beautifully ironic. One of them is falling for our respective ex's close friend!


After a boyfriend and I broke up in spring, I was dating his good friend by summer. Their friends are often extensions of themselves.

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After you leave a relationship, the question of who becomes fair game may mind. The answer is complicated.

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There are several reasons you may forgo the nicety of not dating any given friend of an ex. When it comes to dating the best friend of an ex, the reasons for doing so can be ranked from morally corrupt to basically redeemable. Lust almost never lasts and is by nature a reflection of your desire.

Sex, for some people, is a basic need. Hopefully, for your ex, that may often be the case. As the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea; find another one to lust after. I get it — sometimes, we all find ourselves in a drought. Plus, Sandra was always checking you out anyway. Boredom can be cured by meeting new people, not making a mess out of existing acquaintances or reaching out to potentially inappropriate partners. That would speak volumes about how much they value their relationships in general, which would likely end in disaster for both of you.

Your friend didn't give you permission.

Sometimes, when people hurt us, we can experience an impulse to hurt them back. It can be normal to want to get back at someone.

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What can define you, though, is your decision to go through with it or not. If an ex cheated, lied, or treated you poorly, dating their best friend is a guaranteed way of making some noise.

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However, you may forget to consider the feelings of all parties. Let sleeping dogs lie. Conveniently, they feel the same way, and you have a friendly split. Communication is key here. Ah, the bliss of true love. Singing doves lift your covers off you in the morning and dancing fairies bring you your coffee. True love is the endgame for a lot of humans, no matter what that looks like. This happens sometimes — you truly, inconveniently fall in love with a person who might be a complicated choice.

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Others do. Sometimes, being with the person you love or think you love is complicated. At the end of the day, all you can do is try and be the best version of yourself. Choose love, and decide for yourself what that means to you. in.

Here’s what to keep in mind before dating your ex’s friend

Felicia C. Should you ever really do it, though? Charlotte Ivan Follow. Your Ex Sucked Sometimes, when people hurt us, we can experience an impulse to hurt them back.

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I Love You Relationships now. Thanks to Tre L. Relationships Love Friendship Morality Passion.

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I Love You Follow. Written by Charlotte Ivan Follow.

Your friend is still struggling with the breakup.

More From Medium. A Love Philosophy. Caroline Lampinen. To save our relationship, we started a podcast.

Rachel Arandilla. Why couples always want a triad.

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Lola Phoenix in Non-monogamy Help. Toxic masculine friendships. Ndeda Anaclate. Skills for Love: 5 Ways to a Happy Relationship.

Should you ever really do it, though?

Rebekka Weidmann in sci five University of Basel. Kelly Williams. Kiki Schirr in P. I Love You. Aspects of Friendships. Vincent Apunike.

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Woe Is Me!


I know plenty of women using it to keep tabs on their ex-boyfriend.


Your new crush checks off so many of your boxes.


Sometimes when you develop feelings they happen to be for your friend's ex.